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While many authorities believe football results in serious permanent injuries to vulnerable young brains--
--isn't it great that the Grand Poo-Bahs at this school chose to ignore such disturbing evidence and get this show on the road.
There's no denying that football is America's favorite sport!
Can we ever forget how it was the inculcation in our young gladiators of hard-charging gridiron values that enabled our nation to triumph in the wars against Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, and now Afghanistan!
Also not to be overlooked is the value of these bruising athletic contests have in enabling our porky middle-aged coaches and parents vicarious to live out their mono-dimensioned sports fantasies through the cuts and aches of their kids.
And really, in the end, who can be sure that a bit of brain damage will in any way hinder our Collier boys in pursuing their likely future careers as, say, pool boys, lawn guys, or even Realtors?
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