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Despite his exponential awesomeness, the Great OBAMA has fallen disastrously behind Cyborg Romney, who has successfully redined the essence of un-Cool, in the ungrateful popular vote.
In order to regain his sagging mojo, the Great OBAMA plans to reveal bold moves from his second term agenda:
>>> Everybody in the country, legal or illegal, but not a member of the infamously greedy 1%, nor currently acting as manager of a hedge fund, will be given a free 3-month trial of Food Stamps, in order to see how delectable it can be to stuff your face on somebody else's dime. ObamaEats!
>>> Support of the Human Rights campaign will be expanded so that gays will be allowed to marry, not only each other, but also their poodles. ObamaWoof!
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