Angela Passidomo Trafford: It takes courage to let go of controlling the future

Dear Angela,

I just love your column. It has so much meaning. It seems so incredible all the wisdom you have. No wonder Angel is in your name.

I went to get your two books "The Heroic Path" and "Remembering the Language of God." I would like them as a ready reference for all the people I cross paths with.

I am a senior citizen and have had my share of heartaches and am still dealing with issues.

Thank God the trials in my life have conditioned me to take one day at a time. Sincerely,

Dear Ann,

How very wise you are. It seems the more one lives, the more one is required to attain an internal level of balance that has the strength to withstand a journey on the stormiest of seas.

When you think of all we go through in life, the sorrow, loss, death of loved ones, sudden accidents and illness, the betrayal of false friends; where on earth can one discover the endurance necessary for not just survival, but true happiness.

It is the internal voyage that strengthens us, and the courage and faith to be emotionally present now.

It takes courage to let go of the need to control the future, and partake of the fruits of life given to us now. It is a bounty, yet most of us are starving because we will not eat. We are too busy worrying about the future and being angry about what we thought we should be getting to simply receive in gratitude what is offered now.

The internal path is emotional in nature, yet many of us remain immature because we refuse to feel the pain that surfaces in our hearts in the course of a single day.

We are so very busy -- too busy to really live.

You are an emotionally honest person and that is such a rarity today. Yes I know your heart is aching, and how touching it is to hear you admit it so simply and honestly.

Many people hide their pain behind an iron mask refusing to be vulnerable.

Perhaps you have reached a time when you are ready to address your feelings and make room for them in your life.

I have found that when I let go of what I call my "real life" and all my routines, and stop to feel the emotions of my heart instead of "pushing the river," an altogether new experience emerges. I do things I thought were not important, and they turn out to be crucial actions from which an authentic innovative path comes shining through so much more suited to my needs. It constantly amazes me what gifts of life we find in the ashes when we are real people embracing change as God is shepherding us into greener pastures. Honoring your emotions heals you, unblocks your path and makes you happy.

Inner peace is a garden each of us can cultivate in solitude when we slow down and wrestle with our responsibility to ourselves.

When you focus on living a meditative life, you become aware of your feelings with no desire whatsoever to deny them. This is the essence of true health.

Simply meditating one or more times a day quiets the mind and turns your attention inward toward your own healing process.

Living in the now requires the need to get to know and love yourself so that you do not lose your authenticity in your relationships with others.

As you slow down to this day, this moment, you acquire spiritual strengths of patience, humility, and the courage to expand yourself by surrendering the angers and petty jealousies that come up in your feelings and relationships.

You find creative solutions to work things out. You listen, pay attention, and receive external and internal wisdom. You constantly grow and expand yourself. It hurts to expand, that's why so many people won't do it and remain miserably immature taking out their toxicity on others.

When you feel at the mercy of life you can empower yourself through turning to God in prayer and choosing not to get sucked into the vortex of negativity that is so ready to vacuum you up every where.

When you detach from the negativity of the world and turn within to raise your own consciousness, an intention of love develops within you that is nothing less than a triumph over adversity and the fear that is dished out in such staggering doses in our society.

There are hidden gifts in the trials of life, and when you feel pain, it disappears and forges inner strength. Inner peace gives you confidence and self-esteem, and the fortitude to embrace a new day with serenity and joy. It's a challenge for your human spirit, a challenge to believe in yourself and say yes! to life and overcome its provocations toward stress and fear.

One of the most important things we can do today is to focus our energies on gathering strength for a peaceful heart.

You are an inspiration to me, and I commend you for choosing to expand your consciousness and delve deeper into the parameters of your soul. Godspeed.

Angela Passidomo Trafford, author of "The Heroic Path" and "Remembering the Language of God," is a spiritual teacher who resides in Naples. You may contact her with questions or comments at her e-mail address aptrafford@aol.com ; at her Web site www.self-healing.net; or write to her in care of the Naples Daily News.