Dale McFeatters: Looking for a vacation spot? How about North Korea

The hermetic and cash-desperate little nation is considering opening itself up to tourism.

I'm not an expert at marketing, but it seems to me that the North Koreans have a hard sell on their hands.

Consider three potential sources of tourists: the United States, Japan and prosperous South Korea.

North Korea regularly threatens to drown Americans in a "sea of fire." It has a sinister history of kidnapping Japanese to steal their identities. And it regularly tried to assassinate South Korean officials, once killing four cabinet officers.

The country is in the ninth year of a drought, meaning many North Koreans subsist on a diet of grass. The principal exports are dope and contraband missiles.

Nonetheless, reports The New York Times, North Korea is seeking tourists. A South Korean travel agency has been offering regular visits there this fall at $2,000 a head. (Considering how dirt poor the country is, $2,000 should buy you more than just a visit, maybe an entire province with a cool name. I'm taken by Yanggang-do, which sounds like a rap group.)

The border guards and custom officials are now allowed to smile at visitors instead of the traditional North Korean frozen, hostile stare of welcome. And the North Koreans have allowed their currency to float, leading to an attractive exchange rate of 900 won to the dollar.

Representatives of the international tourism industry have visited, one of whom told the Times that the North Koreans showed off their mountain scenery, caves and old temples. (The CIA would probably like to get a look in some of those caves.)

Unlike Cuba -- a dictatorship, to be sure, but a far less nasty one -- the U.S. government puts no obstacles in the way of Americans wanting to visit North Korea. The Bush administration has threatened to track down and fine Americans who visit Cuba. For Americans wanting to visit North Korea, the State Department Web site offers advice on getting a visa: Try its mission to the United Nations in New York. The Web site thoughtfully includes the mission's address and phone number.

The department does warn that because Washington and Pyongyang do not have diplomatic relations Americans "who are ill, injured, arrested or who may die" should see the Swedish embassy.

The mountain scenery, caves and temples are all very nice but they're not why people will want to visit this thoroughly repressive Stalinist state.

The Lonely Planet travel guide put it succinctly, "North Korea is a fascinating blend of George Orwell's '1984' and Cold War comic opera."

Visitors want to catch a glimpse of Kim Jong Il, the loopy dictator with the bizarre haircut. They want to see faceless ranks of party faithful mechanically goose-stepping through huge, bleak and forbidding public squares. One travelogue described visiting North Korea as a trip to 1945.

Some Chinese visit for a related reason -- to revisit how regimented, impoverished and miserable their own country was under communism and Chairman Mao.

Tourists who want to see the fullest flowering of the works of Great Leader and Dear Leader, the father and son tyrants who have been North Korea's only leaders, should hurry. Many analysts believe the regime is destined to collapse.

In the meantime, North Korea as a travel destination serves as an instructive answer to the question: What was so bad about Stalinism?