The View From Here: Family literacy classes help to end cycle of isolation

A young mother at home with a small child has a full day of tending to her child's and her family's needs. It's not unlike living in a cocoon. She has an endless and intense round of cooking and cleaning and nurturing.

Yet, it's also a delightful and rich time of watching her little one grow — physically, emotionally and intellectually. For many, it's also an isolating time because the rest of the world feels big, far away and out of reach.

I remember an occasion when I was socializing with other moms, each of us with one child on the hip and another running around the room. We talked of feeding and toilet training. A father had stayed home from work for this event and was trying to fit in around the fringes of the group, but it seemed to me as I watched him that we moms were the strange ones living in an unreal world. As the children grew, we left that world behind and re-entered the world of work and school.

Imagine another scenario: mom doesn't speak English so she can't talk to a doctor or a store clerk, let alone the "outsider" father in the scene above. That's trouble enough, but when her children grow older, she will be left behind in her "cocoon" world even though she too will want to be an advocate for her child in school and will want to get a decent job to help her family.

The hardest part of this next phase of isolation (and I think the most dangerous) is what happens when her child goes to school. The child learns English and becomes part of our culture. That's great, except that the child's world becomes disconnected from the mother's. The mother can no longer be the nurturer and counselor she was to her pre-schooler because she doesn't know or understand what's influencing her child.

At the Literacy Council, we hear many stories describing this phase: the child who is embarrassed by her mom's lack of English and won't invite her to a school function; the child who decides to speak only in English to her parents; the child who translates for the mother, but with selective editing; the teenager who wants to leave school to work at McDonald's and brings a world of teenagerly fierce arguments that the mother is unable to relate to or refute.

At the Literacy Council, we are convinced that families and the community will be strengthened in many ways if these young mothers learn English while they are at home with their little ones. We offer family literacy classes for them and their babies in neighborhoods where they live because lack of transportation is part of their isolation (that's a snuggly wrapped cocoon: no English and no transportation, as well as being a stay-at-home mom). In class, we sing and read books together with the children and their moms. We teach the moms English — the language of the doctor and the grocery store, the language of their children's school. The children thrive in the pre-school activities that immerse them in English. They learn when to sit together and how to engage with each other. They take turns and help each other. The fun surprises happen when, after a time, English pops from their mouths: "There's the monkey." "It's my turn." With their new knowledge of English, they will start school ready to learn with their peers.

More importantly, mom will be ready too. My favorite stories are from moms who tell me with self-assurance: "I can talk to my child's teacher." "I understand my child's homework papers." "I can help my second-grader with his spelling."

This year the council conducted four Moms and Tots Family Literacy Programs in the Bonita area: at Manna Christian RV Park, in Rosemary Park, at Pueblo Bonito and, through transportation and recruitment by Catholic Charities, at the YMCA. The first two are continuing through the summer. The group at Manna Christian has been meeting continuously for almost two years. In that time, many families and volunteers have come and gone. I encounter some of the moms who now work in local stores. They give me a cheerful "howdy" or a grateful hug, proud to be using their English.

New volunteers enter the program and are impressed by the earnestness of these young women and the cheerful energy of the youngsters. One new pre-school teacher laughed when her charges lined up their little plastic chairs to play the game of musical chairs, obviously a popular game taught to them by the previous volunteers. Many of the children's volunteers are grandmas or former teachers who enjoy kids and have many songs, games, stories and projects to share with them. This two-morning/week program is the closest these children will come to free pre-K, but it's making a powerful difference in their lives.

The programs at Manna Christian and Rosemary Park are growing (you can tell by the number of strollers out front) and are always in need of volunteers. Would you like to help? You may get to witness a few butterflies find their wings.