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This morning I met the family of a woman who’s a client of mine. Her two daughters and son-in-laws were in town to visit and made appointments to meet her accountant, lawyer and myself. All the key players and planners in this matriarch’s immediate circle now know her wishes.

She disclosed only as much as she felt necessary to her children, and by doing so has given herself and them a great gift; she has peace of mind and her family knows she’s in good hands.

Of all the awkward family conversations, there aren’t many topics more difficult to discuss than the creation of your own estate plan. Your actions can create family harmony, and may dispel any hurt feelings if you communicate with your beneficiaries when creating or changing your plans.

Once we’re gone, survivors can only guess what our intentions were. Twenty years ago my father met with his attorney to discuss updating his estate plan, he died that night. There was a family meeting planned for that weekend to discuss the changes, but that never happened, and unfortunately some questions were left unanswered.

In most families, there’s one “take charge” person, a friend or your attorney who is designated as the “go-to” person in case of emergency. Decide where you’d like loved ones to turn first. If you’ve established a trust, discuss when and how distributions will be made. If you intend to leave a considerable sum to charitable causes, tell your family. If you have pets, make plans for them.

Last week a friend of mine passed away. Her family is on their way to Florida, but there were a few things close friends needed to take care of right away. Just in passing she’d discussed a few important matters with the right people, and it was very helpful. As I’m writing this, her dog is sitting at my feet. Today he’s the reason I stress the importance of discussing with someone how you’d like things handled when you’re gone. (Of course her family has first dibs on the dog, but if it’s up to me he’s staying right here!)

Even the most conscientious of us leave some very important information out of an estate plan. Much of what used to be stored neatly in my color coded manila folders is now online. It’s all well-organized, but totally inaccessible and useless to anyone without my username and/or passwords.

I’m not suggesting that you tape your password to the computer screen; it’s only prudent to keep information confidential. Yet, even that can be carried too far. I’ve seen frustrated spouses and children unable to access e-mail address books and other important documents hidden behind unknown codes and passwords. Wills created online as Word documents can’t be located if they’re in locked folders, a problem for executors even beyond the question of whether an unprinted, unsigned and unwitnessed last will and testament is a legal document.

E-mail-related accounts may be particularly hard to crack. Internet service providers (ISPs) usually can’t release information thought to be confidential and tend to regard accounts as the digital property of the holder, and property interests don’t expire upon death. ISPs may require a death certificate before opening an account. Other online accounts may not be as crucial, but are still troublesome. What happens to all of my music in iTunes? To the photos on Shutterfly? Whose are they? Who has access?

Until recent years this wasn’t much of a problem — the previous generation wasn’t all that comfortable with the Internet — but internet usage is growing among all of us. Estate planners advise making an exception to the usual rules about not writing down your usernames and passwords. Put them and all other vital online information into your hard copy estate planning document. While you’re writing things down, don’t forget to keep beneficiaries informed about your financial assets and their locations. At least make sure your executor has the details of every 401(k), annuity, IRA, life insurance contract, government bond, mutual fund and bank account. List key advisors, with phone numbers and addresses.

Make sure that the physical whereabouts of your vital documents is known to trusted relatives or your attorney. It could be your final act of kindness. How you communicate with your beneficiaries is up to you, just do it! And about my friend’s dog, we’re keeping him!

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Darcie Guerin is a financial adviser and branch manager at Raymond James & Associates Inc. at 606 Bald Eagle Drive, suite 401, Marco Island. Contact her at Darcie.Guerin@raymondjames.com, 389-1041 or toll-free (866) 343-0882.