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Florida's Lotto game is about to change. Lotto is the twice-weekly draw that can deliver millions to lucky people.

Lotto officials are tight-lipped about details of how the game will change.

We realized it was about to happen when my wife went to buy six month’s worth of Lotto tickets — two dollars a week — $104 perfectly good, OK weak, American dollars we’ll never get back.

She was told, however, that advance play draws were not available past early March.

“Hmmm,” we said, or hummed. “Why would they cut us off on March 5?” (Hmmmmm)

“I know,” I said, not having a clue, “I’ll bet they’re going to join one of those big multi-state mega-power coalitions, thus changing the Lotto game.

I was convinced that was it, but wisely phoned an official Florida Lottery guy (that’s his title, OFLG, Official Florida Lottery Guy) to confirm my analysis, my search for truth.

Oops. The OFLG blew my theory away, with a frank but friendly comment, “We have no plans to do that.”

I believe him, as opposed to believing a politician who says, “We have no plans” to do this or that, such as maybe send the Spears’ family to Mars. Any presidential candidate who says he/she has no plans for a Britney voyage to the red planet probably has a task force working on it.

So. We know we won’t be joining Mega-Millions or Powerball just yet. My next guess is the Florida Lotto may change the number of numbers on the card. Or maybe they’ll just put a photo of the previous week’s winners on the ticket, giving us all a new set of role models.

Meantime we can buy current Lotto tickets as far ahead as March 5. And people are buying. The Florida Lottery is fat. And phat.

Insiders, talking with me through the steel door that separates me from all insiders, say “phat” means good, an acronym for “pretty hot and tempting.” Fooey.

Our state lottery began with a scratch-off game called Millionaire, 20 years ago, Jan. 12, 1988. So far, says the OFLG, the lottery has contributed more than $17 billion to education.

Teachers who are working to rule might want to check into that.

Lotteries have been with us for centuries. Many ancient civilizations had them, including India, Greece, Rome and China. (I heard the Great Wall of China was financed by a lottery. They considered but discarded the first proposed name for it — The MEGABALL-Wall of China. Too flashy.)

Critics say lotteries lead to more illegal gambling, prey on the poor, destroy ethical values and increase gambling addictions.

Others say lotteries contribute to global warming, make tigers cranky and empower some athletes to leap tall buildings at a single bound. I could not get that confirmed.

Everyone can agree that winning the Lotto is a long shot, approximately 23 million to one.

The odds of getting killed by lightning are a 10th of that. Odds of a hole in one are 5,000 to one, of dating a supermodel, 88,000 to one. You can tell someone’s age by whether they’d choose the golfing feat or the supermodel heat.

The odds of spotting a UFO today are 3 million to one.

Odds of seeing the Green Flash are about the same.

The odds of becoming President are 10 million to one, unless you’re Ron Paul, in which case it’s a lot higher.

Also, the odds of these statistics from funny2.com being accurate are 100 to one questionable.

I’m just sayin.’

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Don’s email: don@donfarmer.com.