Jeff Lytle: That’s not a typo on the Naples Philharmonic’s season schedule

I try to read all our local news stories all the way through.

You never know what treat you might miss, like with fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt.

So, I know something that you might not.

It’s about the Naples Philharmonic Center for the Arts and its schedule for next season.

Led Zeppelin is on the menu.

The Naples Philharmonic is scheduled to present a program of Led Zeppelin music.

One more time: The Naples Philharmonic is scheduled to present a program of Led Zeppelin music.

Some of America’s finest musical talents will be trained on music written and performed by one of the loudest, baddest, head-banger rock groups of all time.

Lead guitarist Jimmy Page did use a violin bow on occasion, but come on — this is Led Zeppelin.

Not the Beatles, whose tunes are ready-made for a full orchestra and occasionally featured lavish percussion, woodwinds and strings.

Not Steely Dan or Sting or the Beach Boys, whose founding genius, Brain Wilson, has graced the Phil stage.

Led Zeppelin.

Further information about the program was being sought from the Phil this past week. No doubt, our on-staff classical music authority, Harriet Howard Heithaus, will be filling us in.

Still, I need to get this out there now. Since no Led Zeppelin program would be complete without vocals, I volunteer. I can shriek with the best of them.

I am set with the lyrics: “Ooh yeah, ooh-ooh yeah,” “Ah-ah-ah-ah, Ah-ye-ah-ah” and “I, I, I ... .”

I do an impression of the guitar riff between choruses of “Whole Lotta Love.” Myerrrrr.

I have brought crowds to their feet with song — at academic ceremonies and most recently a packed house just down the street from the Phil at Naples Grande, inviting them to join me in “America the Beautiful.”

I had the co-lead in my high-school musical.

Led Zeppelin at the Phil ought to be a snap.

Some other American orchestras that have tackled Led Zeppelin programs have included guest singers. (For what happened in Milwaukee, go online to www.riversidetheater.org/mso-zeppelin.) And with or without one, regardless of the kidding here, you know the Phil will do it well.

But, make no mistake, I’m lobbying for the job.

Pick me, Myra. Pick me.

* * *

When you first hear Led Zeppelin and the Phil in the same breath, you imagine a vast generational divide.

Until you do the math.

Much of the silver-haired audience will be fans or parents of fans when the band debuted, so it will be more of a rockin’ stroll down Memory Lane than culture shock, actually.

* * *

Our coverage of last weekend’s ceremonies for 28 local U.S. armed services veterans who helped liberate France brought e-mails and calls on how others can qualify for the Legion of Honor.

Although the French consulate in Miami holds a Southwest Florida induction every year, it was the first time I got such inquiries.

Here is what other World War II veterans and their families need to know about starting the application process: Until April 15 they should call Brigette Smith of Naples at (239) 417-4937 or e-mail her at cafnaples@aol.com (caf is for Cercle des amis Francophones). After April 15 they can call Jean-Michel Pech at (239) 597-3340.

* * *

Couple of funny things got to me on Wednesday.

At the pet shop, clerks said the crickets in boxes at checkout were very tasty dipped in chocolate. Yuck!

At the office, a letter writer advised of a new, fact-checking computer program called WAG. “Context-sensitive WAG automatically crosschecks facts with data banks and sends warnings of tainted information,” I was told.

When I asked how to get it, I was advised I had to move quickly. It is available only one day per year.

April 1.

* * *

Bonita Springs Mayor Ben Nelson is my guest this week on “One on One,” which is on today at noon on Comcast Cable’s My TV8 and anytime at naplesnews.com/oneonone.