A law enforcement officer must be ready to serve and protect at the drop of a hat. Or maybe pants.
It’s no joke, although the invention of “QuickPants” by a local man, former Marco active duty policeman Mike Christoff, is proving to be hugely popular with female officers.
Christoff owns and operates Mobile Tactics, a gun retail store plus a firing range, the only indoor range of its kind in Collier County. But it’s not only guns, ammo and shooting lessons that have people contacting Christoff.
Increasingly, lady law enforcement officers are clamoring for Mike’s invention, QuickPants. Women police say they help their predicament when duty and nature call at the same time.
“QuickPants are for those of us so tired of shucking off all our duty belt gear just to go to the restroom,” says Officer Becky MacLean of New Hope, Ala.
“No more having to take off the heavy gun belts and then figuring out what the heck you’re going to do with the darn thing. You don’t want to put it on the floor (of the restroom) do you?
“This company has found a genius way of retrofitting police uniform pants so you no longer have to take them all the way off to go.
“There’s a super long zipper strategically hidden inside the seam where no one an see it. The zipper extends down all the way through your legs to the back of your pants and ends near the top of your pockets.
“It also means no more tucking and re-tucking your shirt and getting your inner belt the right way so that your gun belt buckles right. You’ll be in and out of the ladies’ room as fast as the guys are out of the mens.’ ”
Jen Lofy, a Marco Island Police officer for almost six years, agrees.
“A lot of female officers stay under hydrated on purpose, just so they won’t have to use the restroom very often.”
She recalls showing the QuickPants to former Marco Police Chief Roger Reinke.
“When he first saw them he thought they were funny, but when I explained the issue, he got it. Women officers completely understand instantly.”
“Women still are held back a little in law enforcement and this is a solution to a problem we don’t need. It was only recently that we were able to get women-cut uniforms.”
Chief Thom Carr tells us he gets it too and sees no problems and some advantages to the new pants.
So how did former cop Mike Christoff come up with QuickPants?
“I got the idea years ago in Michigan when my partner was a female officer. When she had to go, she’d leave her gear belt in the car with me and run inside. But then she’s in uniform with no gear.
“If a drug deal was going down in the bathroom or some other problem, she’d be helpless and I’d have no backup. I knew there had to be a way to solve this problem.” Voila! QuickPants.
“I take the uniform pants to seamstresses in Naples, who modify them with the extended zippers. You can’t see the longer zipper, so the pants meet uniform code.
“Two Marco officers wear them, as do as a dozen or more women officers elsewhere in Florida, Alabama and Mississippi.”
Christoff says a local fishing captain wears QuickPants. So does a female mountain lion hunter in Arizona. What better place to have the QuickPants solution than in mountain lion territory?
“A waitress here on Marco also says she could use them when the restaurant is very busy,” notes Christoff.
We’ve had fun thinking up other potential QuickPants users. Perhaps by now you have too. We’d also like to see the look on the face of the first TSA agent who sees a pair of QuickPants go by while watching the X-ray at the airport checkpoint.
For more on QuickPants, you can go online to QuickPants.com.
PS: We visualize a new TV cop drama in which QuickPants could help a team of Police Officer beauties solve a homicide case that stumped the guys. The show could be titled, “QuickPants — the New Stars of the Thin Blue Line.”
Cops have a sense of humor too
A few laugh lines that police have used on preps, according to lifeisajoke.com:
- “Warning! You want a warning? OK, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”
- “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?”
- “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org and email@example.com.