NAPLES — Action!

There’s plenty of it this weekend as movie connoisseurs descend on venues about town to take in independent films, documentaries and shorts as part of the Naples International Film Festival.

Some of the works, such as, “Big Cypress Swamp: The Western Everglades” and “Immokalee U.S.A.” carry a distinctive Southwest Florida feel. Others hint at a regional connection with title such as, “The Back Nine” and “Sun Sessions.”

But if there is any criticism to be leveled at the inaugural version of the festival, it’s that it needs more local color. Or, if you’re a cinema purist, more local black and white.

“Desdemona: A Love Story,” may be a wonderful film, but it doesn’t say “Naples” so much as it says, “Who names a kid Desdemona?”

Some offerings would require only minor tweaking. “The Cove” is a gripping documentary about an industry that traps dolphins. Change the focus to an industry that traps snowbirds and call it, “The Cove Inn.”

But we needn’t stop there. With some creative editing and clever overdubs, mainstream movies of the recent past could be tailored to fit the Naples festival audience like a Nicole Miller gown.

In a January opening, Kevin James played the role of a private security guard working in a shopping center. Change the setting to one of Naples’ unoccupied collection of storefronts and you have, “Paul Blart, Deserted Strip Mall Cop.”

Collier County is home to many fine restaurants and, though it has its share of fast food joints, has yet to be infested with the famous fortress-like structures dispensing tiny square burgers that go out almost as quickly as they go in. So in the Naples tradition, the film festival might offer, “Harold and Kumar Go to Bistro 821.”

July saw the release of a fun-filled romp pitting kids against space creatures trying to take over their vacation home. With a minor rewrite, the kids match wits against undocumented workers in “Illegal Aliens in the Attic.”

The Collier County Tourist Development Council has discussed a local history buff’s worst fear, pulling tax funds from the county’s repositories of significant artifacts. A popular May release could be customized to reflect this harsh reality in, “Night(mare) at the Museum.”

Anyone who’s spent a summer in Naples knows about the prodigious afternoon showers. That makes “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatball-Sized Raindrops,” a particularly attractive movie for the festival.

Homeowners on Naples Bay are ever-vigilant for violations of the waterway’s no-wake zones. Their story could be told by redoing a George Clooney vehicle about soldiers trained to use paranormal powers. Seen here for the first time, “The Men Who Stare at Boats.”

Motorists in Southwest Florida recognize that a certain percentage of drivers in the right-most travel channel plod along at a snail’s pace looking for their destination. While it was panned by critics, a Will Ferrell movie from June could be redone to dramatize this phenomenon. We’ll call it, “Lane of the Lost.”

Alternatively, drivers in the other lanes tend to zip along, shooting a one-finger salute to anyone not keeping pace. For them, no revision is necessary. The title works just fine as it is — “The Fast and Furious.”

Of course, all this uninvited meddling in the festival’s lineup might just cause the organizers to seek revenge against the wise-cracking columnist behind it all. That effort could be portrayed by amending 2008’s spy spoof starring Steve Carell — “Get Smart Aleck.”

Connect with Brent Batten at http://www.naplesnews.com/staff/brent_batten/

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