Peak Your Profits: Sometimes, you gotta go crazy

Loony language can sometimes help in the maelstrom of correctness, says Jeff Blackman

Yeah, it worked! Your marketing message, whether it’s an ad, a direct mail piece, a well-timed phone call or any other creative marketing tool, creates enough interest to convert a suspect into a prospect.

They say, “Let’s meet!” Phew. Step one is successful!

You meet. The chemistry is cooking. You bond. They love you, and assure you a decision is on its way. Cool! Looks like you’re victorious in step two.

And now... you wait.

Paint is drying.

And wait.

Grass is growing.

And wait.

Nada. Bupkus. Zip. Nuthin’ is happenin’.

Sound familiar? Ouch!

Clients often share with me similar frustrations when their prospects don’t return their phone calls or respond to their e-mails, faxes and letters. They are forever stuck in prospect purgatory, the maddening and inhospitable land of no decision! So, when clients request my counsel to combat this dilemma, I’ll often suggest they call their “psychiatrist.”

Huh? Well, first I should mention that I’ve been very fortunate. It’s unusual for a prospect not to respond to my voice-mails or e-mails. That’s likely because I’m marketing to and dealing with prospects who are referrals. (We’ll revisit the topic of referrals in future columns.) Or, they’ve “found me” via an article, book, speaking engagement, etc. I don’t attempt to woo frigid prospects in cold calls. I’ve never been a big fan of chilly receptions.

However, on that rare occasion when my polite and persistent attempts to yak with a prospect are unsuccessful, I seek medical help. My theory: If “traditional” attempts at communication ain’t working, it’s okay to go crazy! The following is verbatim language, I’ve used with prospects who are still suspects:

H-E-L-P !

I haven’t slept in days!

Am going without food and water!

Am waiting near the phone!

Am hovering over the fax machine!

Am checking e-mails every 10 minutes!

Yet my clients who you wanted to contact, and I still haven’t heard from you.

My psychiatrist said, “Stop worrying!” He said you’ll contact all of us soon about how I can help you and your team like we continue to help others maximize results and profitability.

Like the CEO who e-mailed me...

(will feature excerpts from the e-mail)

Or the president and vice president who wrote...

(will feature excerpts from the letters)

We’re all waiting to hear from you!

Please let me know what our gameplan is, before I lose even more sleep and weight!

Okay, is the preceding crazy? Maybe. But who cares. It works!

Folks will then call or e-mail me and apologize for the delay. They even thank me for getting their attention in a fun and unique way! They’ll also say they want to be sure I’m eating and sleeping again!

The purpose of this “loony language” is simple. To generate: Interest. Dialogue. Opportunity. Results. Outcomes. Satisfied clients. Remember, when the norm, standard or status quo ain’t producing the results you want, go nuts! Do the unexpected! Bust out of the box! It delivers. Big time!

Profit points:

1. Marketing and business-growth are about results, not logic.

2. Capture attention with uniqueness and creativity.

3. Experiment. Play. Push the possibilities. Far better to be an innovative success than a by-the-book failure.

4. Focus on action that drives a decision. Convert silence into a “Yes,” “No” or “Not yet.”

5. Acknowledge that the traditional, long-established and time-honored ways of doing stuff might need to be abandoned.

Jeff Blackman is a speaker, author, success coach, broadcaster and lawyer who lives part-time on Marco Island. His clients call him a “business-growth specialist.” Send an e-mail to or go to to subscribe to his free e-letter.

© 2009 All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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