What’s your BMI (body mass index)?
Buried in the 1,000-page stimulus and 2,800-page health care bills are little known provisions. The specific rules adjoining them have yet to be written by the thousands of new government regulators being hired for that purpose. But rest assured, the bureaucrats will be telling you how to live a healthy life and penalizing you (fines?) for noncompliance.
Let’s fast forward ten years and listen in on a conversation between Veginald Eatrite and his wife Organica.
Hey Organica, I’m home. Sorry I’m late. But according to my Obameter I had to get in another two miles of walking by tomorrow or be fined. You know how the government monitors that data.”
“Yes I know, Veggy. The “walk, don’t balk” campaign is an effort to keep healthcare costs down. I was just reading about another one that’s about to begin. Apparently, too much salt is unhealthy. So the Public Unit for Life Style Enforcement (PULSE) is handing out free “bland is grand” and “halt the salt” bumper stickers. Restaurant salt restrictions and general rationing are sure to follow. There was a run on salt at Costco today. I managed to score 50 lbs, however.
“I put it in the basement by the 100 cases of Doctor Pepper, Coke and Pepsi. I’m glad we bought them when we did. With the new taxes, one can now costs $4.99. That’s about double the price on black market for coke imports.”
“You always were a good planner Organica”
“Hey Veggy, remember the PULSE police are here for their quarterly visit tomorrow. Since the law requires everyone’s medical data to update Body Mass Index (BMI) measurements every three months, you’ll have to submit to a weight/height and skin paunch assessment. The children get measured every week at school. Your BMI is above 30. If you don’t get it down you’ll be automatically scheduled for body and mind restructuring at one of the OBOBE (Obama Obesity Education) camps run by the Michelle Foundation.
“That won’t be fun. What’s for dinner, Organica?
“Salad with black market dressing; faux buttered corn and meatless glutton free pasta; for dessert, a special treat-freshwater taffy.”