PHOTOS: Naples triplet families rely on friends, family, to make days work

NAPLES — Six weeks into her pregnancy, Lisa Stepzinski laughed — and then cried — when she found out she was having triplets.

As she searched for three cribs, as well as places to put them in their Naples home, she remembers thinking, “Wow, this is really happening.”

But when she and her husband, Justin, finally brought the girls home, she could say it: “Now, we really have three babies.”

After the realization of having multiples, the reality of raising triplets sets in. In the midst of three-kid chaos, extra hands are salvation.

Serial family help

Jeannie and Chris Hilton, 39, are parents to 3½ year-old triplets Kylie, Addison and Mackenzie. Every week after the girls were born, the couple went through a case of diapers every two days and a giant, Costco bulk-size case of wipes. On top of that, the Hilton girls needed eight feedings daily.

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Louise Price, grandmother of triplets Mackenzie, Kylie and Addison Hilton, is smothered with affection while playing with the girls in the family's living room on Sept. 19, 2010 in Naples. Price and her husband have supported their triplet granddaughters by spending months at a time as live-in grandparents.

With triple the mouths to feed and diapers to change, the Hiltons relied on the help of family. Chris Hilton’s parents and Jeannie Hilton’s cousin stayed with her during the pregnancy. Her father helped in the first two months, washing bottles, feeding the babies and changing diapers. The extra hands now come from Jeannie Hilton’s mother, Louise Price, who joined the Hiltons after their recent move from Virginia Beach to Naples. For two years, they also hired a nanny.

“Getting help is key. Without it you probably won’t survive,” Hilton. As she talked, Addison sat on her lap. Mackenzie played with Price on the adjacent sofa and Kylie entertained herself with dolls in a nearby room.

The fine furnishings and wood trim that came with the Hiltons’ rental house, where they are staying while their own home is being built, was a study in irony. Fragile ceramic vases stood grandly next to stacks of children’s books. The heavy silk curtains hid stuffed animals, and on each chair and table sat a toy or a doll.

“You’re going to have to accept that the house isn’t going to be perfect,” said Hilton, watching the girls run around the living room. “Everything isn’t going to be in precise order.”

Feeding by Google

Sarah Burd, 32, mother to 9½ month-old triplet boys Everett, Jack and Owen, received help from Summit Church, which she attends. A group of members offered their help and then rallied others, Burd said. One friend created a live, online Google document with the triplets’ feeding schedule, allowing members from church to sign up for specific feeding times. Some cooked meals; others just came to hold the babies. They even held a diaper shower for the Burds, collecting so many in various sizes that Burd has not yet had to buy diapers.

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Sarah Burd entertains her 9-month-old triplet boys, Jack, Everett and Owen, as her husband, Evan, prepares lunch Sept. 14, 2010 in their Naples home. After the birth of her sons, Burd setup a Google calendar on the Internet to organize church members, friends and family who volunteered to help ease the multiplied responsibility of triplet infants.

“The saying ‘It takes a village’ was not lost on me or our situation,” said Burd, a teacher by trade, but now a stay-at-home mom. “I would have two babies and the third was crying. I just didn’t have enough hands. I was blessed to have my church community and others be those extra hands.”

On a recent afternoon, a church member and another friend joined the Burds at swim class. Each adult shuttled one of the three babies from the car to the pool and formed a procession back and forth for supplies while the boys watched from a nearby couch, oblivious to what adult work being done for them. When Owen went in the water with the swim instructor, Everett played on the church member’s lap and the friend held Jack. Still, Burd kept a close eye on all three boys.

“Whenever I take them out, whether it is to swim class or a doctor’s appointment, I always need another person,” said Burd, holding Jack as Everett took his turn in the pool.

Parenting by e-mail

Stepzinski, 34, who works full time as speech pathologist and rehabilitation director, still has hired help. She has a nanny every day to take care of her 9-month-old identical triplets, Hannah, Eva and Maya. Hired help allows Stepzinski to continue working and keeps her family financially stable, she said. Stepzinski also got help from her mother when she first brought the triplets home.

Having identical triplets made care even more confusing than caring for three. At first the Stepzinskis put colored bracelets on the girls to tell them apart; now their parents can differentiate them by their facial expressions

“I would love to be a stay-at-home mom,” said Stepzinski, “Sometimes it breaks my heart to leave. But having the nanny come in gives me a chance to get away for a bit. Kind of like a buffer.”

Her 40-hour work week keeps her away from the triplets from

7 a.m. to 3 p.m., but Stepzinski said she tries to spend as much time with them before and after work as possible. Stepzinski has a created a schedule, well-documented in her day planner, that begins her girls’ day with a 6 a.m. feeding. There’s another feeding she administers after work, then some time for music and reading, followed by baths and yet another feeding before bed. Stepzinski admitted her time at work gets difficult when she is not busy.

“When I have a break, all I can think about is the girls,” Stepzinski said. “I always text the nanny to see how they are doing, and she sends me pictures.”

An overseer is still critical as the triplets get older, feedings become less frequent and sleep patterns are more routine.

“While I tend to the one who has clogged up the toilet, the other has gotten into the cereal and the other has built a fort,” Hilton said, laughing.

Extra hands also enable common tasks, like going to the grocery store.

“Putting three kids in the car and then putting them in a shopping cart and going through the store is a nightmare with three,” Hilton said. “Having someone to just watch the girls for a few minutes while I get milk is great.”

Help also allows tired parents time to get away.

“We try to have a date night,” Burd said, “It’s a little time to ourselves where we can have adult conversation.”

Support comes from dad, too. Burd’s husband, Evan, 29, works 12-hour shifts as a police officer, but when he gets home at 7 p.m., he takes care of putting the boys to bed. On his day off, he helps with everything from feeding to changing diapers.

Justin Stepzinski, 34, works at a bank. His wife, Lisa, said she counts on him to help her do it all. Chris Hilton, who also works full-time and travels often, said he handles outdoor activities with the girls, giving his wife some precious downtime. On the weekends, he makes breakfast for the girls and dresses them.

“Ask what your wife needs and just do it,” Hilton said, “And understand that there will be breakdowns.”

However, Chris Hilton said he has added one limit: He does not do hair.

Sticking together

When moms collapse emotionally, the moral support of other mothers can be crucial. Hilton, Burd and Stepzinski arrange play dates with each other, giving them the opportunity to share experiences and discuss the ups and downs of raising multiples.

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Nanny Michelle Kennedy helps with feeding identical triplets Hannah, Ava and Maya Stepzinski with father Justin Stepzinski goes to work on Sept. 22. The family follows a strict daily schedule with the enlisted help of fellow family, friends and nannies to help manage the responsibility of their identical triplet girls.

“You need other moms of multiples to talk about the struggles,” Burd said, “I found so much solace just to talk to another mom who is going through the same challenges.”

Kristin O’Neill, 31, another Naples woman who is expecting triplets, is talking to Burd, Hilton and Stepzinski about their experiences. O’Neill already has a 16-month-old boy so she will have four children.

All the mothers have given her tips and organization advice. Burd gave O’Neill baby clothes and even offered to set up the same Google document she used with her boys. Stepzinski donated her triple stroller.

“The moms I knew only had one child and had no idea what to tell me about three,” said O’Neill, who is expected to have two girls and boy between November and January. “It’s comforting to know that there are three people who went through the same thing, and I can call them if I have questions.”

Hilton hopes to start a moms-with-multiples group in the Naples area, similar to a Virginia Beach one she was a member in. She plans on organizing group activities, such as garage sales, events, play dates and simply help times.

“You have to give in and accept the help,” Hilton said, carrying Kylie on her left arm while pouring apple juice with her right hand.

Added her husband: “They have six hands, so you’d better have six hands.”