NAPLES — The game says an awful lot about us.
The hype. Two weeks to get ready for three hours of football. Heck, the pregame, at four hours, is longer than the game-game. Well, we do prefer to talk about what we’re going to do these days, instead of actually doing it.
The excess. Cheapest ticket (face value) is $600. If you’d like, you can watch the game from the parking lot on a big movie screen for $200. The game is going to have a military fly-over before kickoff even though it’s in a dome. Well, the yahoos in a parking lot need something for their $200, right?
Speaking of getting something for your money, $3 million for a 30-second commercial. Why? Because we watch these! For many years the commercials were far better than the game. My favorite, Clara Peller for Wendy’s “Where’s the Beef?” in 1984.
The gambling — $80-90 million legally, $8-10 billion illegally. That’s billion with a “B.” If it’s possible, we’ll bet on it. The coin flip. Will Christina Aguilera wear a cowboy hat while singing the anthem? What color Gatorade will be dumped on the winning coach? All trivial matters. Can I get $50 on tails, please? (For the record, Green Bay is a 2 1/2- to 3-point favorite. The over/under is 44 1/2 to 45. The wise guys in Las Vegas essentially have the Packers winning, 24-21.)
The food. We will eat 30 million pounds of snacks Sunday. Holy guacamole! Speaking of which, how many avocados do you need for Super Bowl Sunday? Imagine lining the entire football field with them, and then stacking it nearly 30 feet high. Pass the dip.
The teams. Two storied franchises. Pittsburgh and Green Bay. Named after two industries that are shells of what they used to be, steel and meat packing. Yet they represent everything the game is not. Smaller can be better. Blue collar. Not corporate. Anyone else see the irony in a winter storm belting Dallas the week the Steelers and Packers play in the Super Bowl? Terrible Towels meet Frozen Tundra. This is not New York meets Los Angeles. Except for all the corporate suites.
The game. Has the two ingredients for greatness. Two star quarterbacks and the two best defenses in the league. You may have to go back to the first two Pittsburgh-Dallas Super Bowls (X and XIII) since we had this same combination. Both those games had Pittsburgh winning by four (21-17 and 35-31).
Most countries party like this for futbol.
We do it for football.
Sunday says an awful lot about us.
And we’re damn proud of it.
Super Bowl Sunday. Every bit America in 2011, as the Fourth of July.
Ben Franklin and Aaron Burr, step aside for Ben Roethlisberger and Aaron Rodgers.
Don’t get us wrong, we appreciate all you guys did 235 years ago, but pass the Cheetos and keep it down.
We need to hear what the E*trade babies are saying.