I’m as giddy as a school girl. Baseball has the World Series; Anna Wintour has Fashion Week; and I have premiere week, that greatest of times when everything rerun is new once more.
For reasons unbeknownst to me, I have acquired a taste for a vast array of programming. Sometimes I like a crime procedural that takes little thought to watch and actually requires a lack of knowledge of real-world proceedings to be credible (hello, “CSI” and “Hawaii Five-O,” I’m talking about you).
Oftentimes I need a good laugh, and turn to a sitcom. I once found the laughs (be it canned or from a live studio audience) annoying. I certainly don’t need any prompting to know when to chuckle. However, the more recent trend of documentary-style comedies (like “The Office”) is also a bit unnatural and bizarre, when you think about it. “Big Bang Theory” (studio audience) and “Modern Family” (docu-style) certainly prove that either way is perfectly acceptable with a majority of the television audience.
Other times I need quality entertainment that inspires, motivates or moves me in some way, so I’ll rent a movie.
So Monday night I caught the premiere of “Hawaii Five-O” (CBS). For those of you who watch, you’ll recall that at the end of last season our leading man was in quite a quandary. Steve McGarrett (Alex O’Loughlin), head of Hawaii’s special Five-O task force, had been caught standing over the governor’s body holding a gun, after breaking into her “state”-ly mansion.
It was one of those end of season cliffhangers that, once upon a time, would have fooled us into believing they’d never be able to clean up this mess. It was reminiscent of my favorite season-ender to “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” entitled “Best of Both Worlds.” That episode found Capt. Jean-Luc Picard assimilated by the Borg, and threatening the crew of the starship Enterprise with annihilation. Fade to black. Then four months of summer reruns while you ponder what you just watched.
So back to “Five-O.” Leading man arrested. Special task force dismantled. Another team member under investigation. They’ll need all season to clean up this mess, right? Apparently not. SPOILER ALERT: Stop reading this now if you haven’t watched the season premiere, plan to, and want to be surprised.
So who’d have thunk it? They cleaned that whole mess up in an hour, with time to spare at the end to wax ad nauseam. I’m not sure what was more of a stretch of the imagination:
The magic camera in the governor’s office that had been feeding images to who knows where for an entire year and caught the whole frame-up on video
The fact that the lieutenant governor personally showed up for the arrest of McGarrett to clear his good name, or that the police stood down afterwards (Oh well, if the lieutenant governor says so, it must be true)
Or that the whole crew went back inside the shaved-ice hut that was McGarrett’s super-secret hideout to show McGarrett what he already knew — that he wasn’t guilty. Bad premiere. Bad, bad “Hawaii Five-O.” My apologies if I was thinking too much during this episode. Please bombard me with more beach scenes, riffs and half-naked bodies next time. After all, that’s primarily why I watch.
Other premieres I’ve caught, and rank for you ...
“Ringer” (The CW) – I’ve watched two episodes so far. First let me say, I’d watch Sarah Michelle Gellar read the phone book, however, the premiere episode with its bad special effects and corny dialogue made me think that might be a step up. The second episode was better. I’m in for a few more eps.
“New Girl” (Fox) – Very funny. Unfortunately I had already seen the best stuff all summer during promos. The show loses Coach (Damon Wayans, Jr.) next week as his show, “Happy Endings” was renewed by ABC.
Anderson Cooper’s new daytime show (Syndicated, CW 6 here). Charming guy, trying something a bit different. But still needs some polishing.
“Jeremy Kyle” (Syndicated, CW 6 here). Reminds me of Jerry Springer and Maury Povich before they devolved into wrestling-style talk tragedies they are today. While being the lowest form of talk, once upon a time, these shows felt more real and raw. Remember “Donahue” and “Oprah” got their start this way.
Don’t you just love it? Nothing to watch all summer long and this week I fill up my TiVo and I’m contemplating buying extra storage (at $149, not the best idea … lower your prices, TiVo).
It reminds me of our education system. The schools are overcrowded, yet remain empty half the day and all summer long. Like how I just got political there? Didn’t see it coming did you?
So what have you watched so far? Send me your likes and dislikes: email@example.com.
Until next time, stay tuned.