There isn’t a more magical time of the year than Christmas, uh, “the holidays.” A good portion of the masses deck their halls and don their lights with gay apparel as early as, well, before Thanksgiving now.
I think it was about two weeks before Thanksgiving that I forever deprogrammed a radio station in my car which made the mistake of trying to make me choke down “rum pum pum pum” before I had even guilted my children into buying the turkey and pulling out the pilgrim salt and pepper shakers.
With the festivities weeks behind us, I’ve noticed, while showing properties in the area, twinkle lights hanging lifelessly from the eaves of homes, blowing in the wind. Just to be clear, I have nothing against Christmas or twinkle lights; I’m not profiling. It’s just that there is a time and place for everything and the time for 2011 twinkle lights has passed; rest their tiny, lifeless souls.
Post-holiday twinkle lights represent the passing of the season and all the commercial possibilities promised to the American consumer such as the toys that blessed children asked Santa for, which then came without batteries to run them and the gifts of mediocrity, guaranteed to be re-gifted next year.
I’d reckon that if the proper tests and surveys were performed, twinkle lights should legitimately have about the same decorative shelf life as hurricane window tape; counting the days from installation a few days before the event, the day of the event, seven to 10 days after the event, then removal.
Partly, I’m joking about the hurricane tape on windows. Tape never looks good in season or out of season. The twinkle lights quite possibly brought joy to children at least once. The magical storm resistant tape had no business being used to begin with and it does not work.
At the risk of upsetting a late-tape-taker-downer, I’m sorry but you wasted tape and you’re probably lucky to be alive and now your windows look like crap. You would have been wise to have field tested your windstorm safety plan by taking a roll of the tape of your choice, scotch, masking or duct tape and tape a big X across your chest and stand in the middle of flying debris to measure out how well the tape protected your person from flying roof tiles and lawn chairs.
Tape doesn’t work. Your homeowner’s insurance company would offer you a hurricane tape discount if it did and 3M would be crushing the Florida market in tape sales.
The coup de grâce of expired exterior home décor would be the twofer of expired twinkle lights and tape window X’s but that leprechaun probably doesn’t exist. Probably. Send pictures if you’ve seen it.
All in fun and just a way to remind some of you folks know that if you listed your home or condo for sale sometime around Thanksgiving or after and you’ve not sold your real estate, you may now take down your lights and ask your agent for new marketing pictures to be taken … and probably reconsider that price reduction.
Digital holiday cheer is the gift that keeps on giving the whole year through and there’s nothing that screams “my real estate has been on the market since Christmas” more than a Christmas décor rolling through the visuals. Don’t let your home become a senseless casualty of the twinkle lights.
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Chris Griffith is a real estate agent at Downing-Frye Realty Inc. in Bonita Springs. If you have a question about local real estate or Bonita Springs, e-mail her at chris@LifeInBonitaSprings.com.