I feel like a failure. I'm 40 and not married yet, and recently my boyfriend and I broke up and I'm single again! Do you think there is something wrong with me?
I will address two things in my response: One is your expression of feeling like a failure, and the second is the belief that if a relationship ends it's considered a failure. I don't think there is anything wrong with being single. Living as a single person does not mean you are less than a person in a relationship. You are a whole human being just like everyone else. You are not lacking anything. Observe your belief system. Why do you feel not worthy or less than because you are single? Is it pressure from family or society? Do you think a lover is meant to complete you or complement you? Also take a look at your fears. What are you afraid of?
Trust that your life is exactly how it's meant to be and you are learning what you are meant to be learning. And right now, you are learning to create a new script about your life, one that is more empowering and aligned with the beautiful, fully empowered being that you are right now. And that script may look like this: "I trust the deeper meaning behind my life path, my choices, and my experiences. I understand this is a good time to begin loving and accepting my life. I have had many experiences that have taught me about self-love and how I gave my power away. I choose to release all of my limiting beliefs and walls that I put up and step into the flow of love, trust and joy. I choose to see my life through eyes of love and trust everything happens for a reason. I choose to live life lighter and look for the beauty in everyday life. I choose to love the parts of me that need it most!"
It's time we stop being judgmental, harsh and critical with ourselves and learn how to accept, embrace and forgive. Fighting "what is" will never bring peace. And "what is," is that you are single. The first step to being at peace is to accept and be OK with being a single woman. We can accept and make peace with our life choices and situations, and still navigate ourselves toward our heart's desires without attachments. Devaluing ourselves will not inspire. To inspire, we connect with that place within us that remembers who we are, that knows we have the opportunity to align with our heart's calling which is always aligned with love. We are love and being loving is our most natural and comfortable way to be.
If you are disappointed with how your life turned out, spend some time forgiving and healing. Treat yourself just as you would a child who loses their way. Live your life for yourself, not for others.
I believe all relationships are not meant to be death do us part. A positive perspective is to trust that our relationships have a purpose. We judge a breakup as a negative event because we are sad, mad and disappointed during heartbreak. We can be sad and disappointed but still have an understanding that we grew as a person and helped another grow during our time together. And with this view it was purposeful and yes, successful!
In the right time and if you choose, trust there is another loving connection for you to have a relationship with in the future. Keep your heart opened and know your loving partner is seeking you too.
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Laurie Martin has been teaching self-love and personal empowerment for over 10 years. As a professional speaker, certified life coach, author, advice columnist and writer, Laurie passionately shares her wisdom, tools, exercises and visualizations to help others connect with their infinite powerful being. She is the author of "Smile Across Your Heart: The Process of Building Self-Love" and the ebook and audio book "The Conscious Break Up Guide: Navigating Through The End of Your Relationship." Connect with her atwww.SmileAcrossYourHeart.com or via email at LaurieM@SmileAcrossYourHeart.com.