Brent Batten: Let us reason together over election

BRENT BATTEN

Considering the large turnout of early and absentee voters in Southwest Florida, people are obviously finding reasons to vote for either Mitt Romney or Barack Obama.

But in case you're on the fence about participating in the 2012 presidential election, here are some more.

Top Reasons to Vote Today for Mitt Romney:

■ This may be the last chance in our lifetimes to elect a president named "Mitt."

■ If his Alfred E. Smith Memorial Dinner performance is any indication, the next four White House Correspondents Roasts should be a hoot.

■ Secretary of State Kristi Yamaguchi. (Little something for the guys).

■ Paul Ryan's abs (Little something for the ladies).

■ The five Romney boys (Little something extra for the ladies).

■ White House liquor and tobacco budgets shrink to practically zero.

■ Romney will outsource The View to China.

■ He's had the good sense not to take up golf.

■ He'll have BYU advancing too far in the NCAA tournament, making him easy to beat in the ESPN Bracket Challenge.

■ Presidential limo replaced by a vintage AMC Gremlin.

■ He can use his old high school cheerleader megaphone to talk to reporters as he walks to Marine One.

■ Finally, a president who understands curling.

And, in the interest of fairness, Top Reasons to Vote Today for Barack Obama.

■ Four more years of grinning, goofing, gaffing Joe Biden — Priceless.

■ By 2016 the Obama girls should be old enough to start getting into some headline-grabbing hijinks, ala the Bush twins.

■ Secretary of State Eva Longoria.

■ If Romney wins, your chances of being invited to a White House Beer Summit decrease precipitously.

■ Michelle Obama's healthy school lunch initiative continues. More french fries for the rest of us.

■ Press pool video of Obama golfing lends assurance that no matter how you may feel after a triple bogey, you are not the worst golfer on the planet.

■ If Obama loses, he'll golf even more. Fewer tee times for the rest of us.

■ Forget about deficit reduction and job growth. He got us that college football playoff, didn't he?

■ An Obama victory guarantees the United States will continue to lead the world in teleprompter technology.

Whatever your reason, be sure to vote.

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