Why 2013 was our year of guilty pleasures

Miley Cyrus performs at the MTV Video Music Awards at the Barclays Center in New York on Aug. 25, 2013. From her twerk-a-thon at awards shows to her nearly nude poses to that now infamous tongue, we saw too many different sides (not to mention the backside) of the former teen queen.

Photo by Associated Press

Miley Cyrus performs at the MTV Video Music Awards at the Barclays Center in New York on Aug. 25, 2013. From her twerk-a-thon at awards shows to her nearly nude poses to that now infamous tongue, we saw too many different sides (not to mention the backside) of the former teen queen.

This year, Hollywood reminded us of one long Kanye West rant — somewhat intelligible, yet completely nonsensical; intriguing, but annoying; and something you wanted to ignore but just could not look away.

How else to describe the feeling we had after watching West and Kim Kardashian simulate the conception of their daughter North West with the video “Bound 2”? Or hearing about another profane Alec Baldwin meltdown? Miley twerking with little people?

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Photo by Associated Press

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

It was bewildering, off-putting, jarring — yet entertaining at the same time. As bad as celebrity antics were this year, they remained our guilty pleasure. We’ll never admit it, but these are the moments that had us riveted in 2013.

ISN’T THE COVER OF US WEEKLY ENOUGH?

Kanye West had many righteous things to rage about this year, from the fashion industry not giving him credit for brilliant, life-changing designs such as leather jogging pants, to not getting respect from President Barack Obama. But nothing seemed to upset him more than Vogue’s apparent refusal to put his baby mama, Kim Kardashian, on the magazine cover. He likened her to this generation’s Marilyn Monroe, called her the most beautiful woman on the planet, and scoffed that two-time Vogue cover girl Michelle Obama couldn’t Instagram a selfie photo of her nearly bare backside like Kim and cause the stir that Kardashian did.

AT LEAST HE GOT OUT OF THE KARDASHIAN CHRISTMAS CARD

Khloe Kardashian called it quits with troubled basketball star Lamar Odom after four years of marriage and months of endless tabloid headlines juicier than anything we had seen in their reality show. The last straw for Kardashian allegedly came after video surfaced of a shirtless Odom and a male friend rapping semi-incoherently about smoking weed and scoring with lots of women.

Khloe Kardashian Odom and professional basketball player Lamar Odom from the show “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” at an E! Network upfront event in New York on April 30, 2012. Kardashian called it quits with the troubled basketball star after four years of marriage and months of endless tabloid headlines juicier than anything weíd seen in their reality show.

Photo by Associated Press

Khloe Kardashian Odom and professional basketball player Lamar Odom from the show “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” at an E! Network upfront event in New York on April 30, 2012. Kardashian called it quits with the troubled basketball star after four years of marriage and months of endless tabloid headlines juicier than anything weíd seen in their reality show.

CAN WE STOP NOW ... PLEASE?

This year felt like Miley Cyrus plowed into our consciousness with a concrete wrecking ball. From her twerk-a-thon at awards shows to her nearly nude poses to that now-infamous tongue, we saw too many different sides of the former teen queen. Please tell us it was all a dream.

WE STOPPED BIEBLIEVING A WHILE AGO

What happened to our favorite teen moppet? Over the past year, Justin Bieber went on a world tour of mayhem, from speeding in the streets of Los Angeles, to suggestions of smoking weed to spraying illegal graffiti in Colombia to stepping on the Argentinian flag (he said he meant no offense). We expected more from a young Canadian lad. Let’s hope Toronto mayor Rob Ford hasn’t become his new role model.

Justin Bieber

Photo by Powers Imagery

Justin Bieber

WE’RE CRINGING ON PURPOSE

Brad Paisley and LL Cool J’s “Accidental Racist,” designed to be an ode to racial understanding, united people of all colors: We recoiled together after hearing lines such as “If you don’t judge my do-rag/I won’t judge your red flag” and perhaps the topper, “If you don’t judge my gold chains/I’ll forget the iron chains.” Paisley said he had only wanted to try and have an honest conversation about race relations.

PAYING TRIBUTE, AL JOLSON STYLE

Julianne Hough’s decision to don blackface for Halloween to portray her favorite character from the Netflix show “Orange is the New Black” sparked an uproar and drew an eventual apology from the actress, who said she never intended to hurt anyone.

TALK ABOUT WATCHING YOUR MOUTH

Michael Douglas caused a stir — and in some circles, perhaps a panic — when, in an interview, he was quoted suggesting that he got his throat cancer from oral sex (although he later backtracked). We’re hoping it’s just a coincidence that he and Catherine Zeta-Jones announced a trial separation a few months later.

BEST PERFORMANCE ON FILM

Goes to Reese Witherspoon. Unfortunately for her, it was on a police video cam, not a movie screen. Witherspoon made headlines when she was arrested for drunkenly interfering in an officer’s attempt to arrest her husband on a DUI charge.

In the video, Witherspoon immediately went into character development, telling the officer she was pregnant (an admitted lie). She also trotted out that well-worn line of fading stars: “Do you know my name?” Given the box-office performance of her last few films, she should have expected he wouldn’t.

Paula Deen

Photo by Associated Press

Paula Deen

A RECIPE FOR TROUBLE

Paula Deen let fly a career-ender when, during a deposition in a racial discrimination case, she admitted to using the N-word and described the vision she had of using all-black waiters to serve in a mock plantation scenario.

Deen fell on her butter knife during a tearful interview with Matt Lauer on the “Today” show, but her empire crumbled, with everyone from Walmart to the Food Network dropping her like a hot cinnamon roll.

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Comments » 5

Konfuzius writes:

Why 2013 was our year of guilty pleasures?

Do not understand. If I have pleasure I fell never guilty!

RayPray writes:

in response to Konfuzius:

Why 2013 was our year of guilty pleasures?

Do not understand. If I have pleasure I fell never guilty!

"If I have pleasure I fell never guilty!"

>>> A good attitude!

>>> Still, most of the above highlighted events make me want to relocate to Mt Athos....

Konfuzius writes:

"... relocate to Mt Athos....""""

Maybe you are to old for all this kind of fun banned by the Holy Roman Catholic Church as sin.

MIOCENE1 writes:

The "guilt" is a consequence of our Christian heritage.

We live in a so-called "fallen world".
The Garden of Eden is no more.
Man is now condemned to toil and suffer as did the Christian god.

So anything that feels good; like sex and alcohol; is sinful; and therefor guilt-ridden.

Of course no one really paid much attention to this rubbish until that "end of days" garbage in that silly "Book of Revelation" started coming back into the forefront over the last twenty or thirty years.

MIOCENE (PAREIDOLIA)

Konfuzius writes:

in response to MIOCENE1:

The "guilt" is a consequence of our Christian heritage.

We live in a so-called "fallen world".
The Garden of Eden is no more.
Man is now condemned to toil and suffer as did the Christian god.

So anything that feels good; like sex and alcohol; is sinful; and therefor guilt-ridden.

Of course no one really paid much attention to this rubbish until that "end of days" garbage in that silly "Book of Revelation" started coming back into the forefront over the last twenty or thirty years.

MIOCENE (PAREIDOLIA)

Horrifying events are beginning to happen in America and much of the western, professing "Christian" world. The destruction of the Twin Towers in New York, and the devastation of the Pentagon in Washington, DC, focused the minds of millions on Bible prophecy. They now wonder:

"What is God's purpose in all of this?"

He sent MIOCENE1 to open your eyes. Is he one of Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? Seems so. The black or white horseman?

His comments are scaring.

However - it is what it is!

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